Lessons Learned

Things I have learned in the past couple of weeks:

1. If the "Almost Heaven" ranch was appropriately named, then Heaven is just a little better than an old rusted-out barn. (Or, phrased another way: if you are going to make celestial claims, gild your barn.)
2. Friendship is way beyond Hope; in fact, it's just down the road from Social Hill. (Those crazy Arkansites and their town-naming flair...)
3. The world doesn't end if I get up before 5 AM twice in one week.
4. Something about Bluebeard (or Blackbeard?) the pirate that I have already forgotten (I was distracted by high-altitude putt-putt and 100% humidity at the time).
5. Dispensationalism is, in fact, not a career path involving vending machines.
6. It is possible for a security keypad to short out and start conducting electricity through all the metal in a door, including the handle.
7. Persuant to #6: I now know what it feels like to receive a mild-to-moderate electric shock. (My arm is still tingling.)
8. Persuant to #7: Multiple times.
9. I am an idiot.

I blame #8 on #3, in the hope of negating #9. Call me an optimist.